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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.