Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
My New Year`s Resolution is to stop making late decisions.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.