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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.