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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?