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I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.