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What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
When you`re accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don`t reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
No, I would not like to know what fruit my body is shaped like.
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...