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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.