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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
My wife said she wanted to feel special. So I gave her a helmet and some crayons. Perhaps I misunderstood her?
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Check this one out.........1
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat