Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
If u cant live without me, why aren`t you dead yet.
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
I didn`t give you the finger...you earned it.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.