Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
You know you`ve picked the right friends if no one has nominated you for the ice bucket challenge
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
Dear Toilet Paper Makers, We`ve all unexpectedly run out at some point. Please make the tube in the center softer. Thank you...
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
I dont pay for cabs if I’m too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
Hibernation should be a human thing too.
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?