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My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
Valentines day
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
It`s not stalking if you love them!