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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
For once in my life, I’d like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my p@nis is.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.