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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.