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A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!