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List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."