Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm