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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
Boss: Are you on drugs? Me: You and I both know I don`t make enough money to have a drug problem
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.
And then God said, "Seems unfair to have given man an extra limb so to balance it out I`ll give women the power over which to control it."
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?