Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I might enjoy work more if at the end of the day I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
Care less and you’ll stress less.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.
I just bought some new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said to remove the top and push up bottom. My butt hurts now but every time I fart the room smells awesome.