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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
I don’t care how high you set the bar as long as I can reach my drink.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there’s an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.