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You know it`s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation.
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Three weeks without a signal typo!
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.