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The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
Carfax but for people
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC