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79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.