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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn`t appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
How can Wal-mart have a bazillion carts and everyone with at least one wobbly wheel?
1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? - top 3 things on my mind when I`m in a conversation
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
I tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”