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She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?