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This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
If you`re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don`t google `old man bond age`
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo.