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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
My New Year`s resolution is to stop pointing my car alarm remote at my apartment front door expecting to unlock it
When I win the lottery, the first thing I`m going to buy is a pot to piss in. I`ve always wanted one of those.
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
I put the hot in psychotic.
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.