Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, I tell people about my accomplishments and they say "big Deal
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.