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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
I`m not upset because it`s Monday, I`m upset because I have to wear pants
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
I met a guy exactly like my father so I brought him home and my mom shot him.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk ;)
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude