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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
Please don`t hastag out loud...
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
In space they just call it "Jam"
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.