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Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.