Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
If I told you I was a pathological liar, would you believe me?
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.