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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
"That wasn`t chicken in the Chow Mein" I`d make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss