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Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria`s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be "your sexiest year ever."
I`m 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.