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I`m 28 years old, but in marriage years, I`m dead on the inside.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
I hate when I go to pump gas only to find out that the little metal "handle hold up thingy" is broken, so I have actually squeeze and hold the handle. I hate it for two reasons: 1) its gross and i just wanna peel my hand skin off like gloves when im done. 2) it makes me realize how lazy I am.
It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
heyy lol
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.