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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.