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Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
My greatest achievement today was writing this status.
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.