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It`s pretty cool how vodka always has such `great` ideas.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
There`s nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people know where my tolerance level is at.