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Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I would have a girlfriend but finding someone who likes to be ignored is hard.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
Real friends show me their boobs
It’s a status….not your diary…
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas