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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
Home is where the alcohol is.