Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.