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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?