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K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
Life lesson: you never have to feel ashamed of anything you buy as long as you buy a birthday card at the same time
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.