Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.