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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
How many calories does swearing like a motherf*cker burn?
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
My head has that drunk on cheap alcohol feel without me getting to actually drink the alcohol :(
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)