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Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
Smooth move.........ExLax
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Wife: You always blame other people for your problems. Me: Yeah, and whose fault is that?
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don’t have if they are asking me for advice.
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
I have nothing to update. I`m just making it look like I`m doing something at a party so people won`t talk to me.
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.