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I`d swim across the ocean for you.. Lol, Just kidding. There`s f*cking sharks in there.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.