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Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
Are you bored? Head over to Walmart, go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, and then yell very loudly, `Hey! There`s no toilet paper in here.`
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.