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I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
And by "whatever" I mean f*ck you.
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you’re welcome.
Its amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumba$$!"
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
drinks well with others.