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From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
Being a camera must be pretty cool. You get to sleep until there`s something cool to see.
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.