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Why do they waste so much money on all the checkout lanes at Walmart, when they only have two of them open at any given time.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Every time I see an abandoned shoe on the highway it reminds me of some of the drunken nights we use to have.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.