Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate that my little black heart skips a beat with delight.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
I look so young for my rage.
If there is anything I learned from 80`s movies it`s that I`m the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.