Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
Don’t text and drive. You don’t want “lol” to be the last thing you say before you die.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
Why does this membership application to the YMCA not have "The Village People" as an option for "How did you hear about us?"
It`s friday!! I smell vodka ;)
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.