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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
Turns out the plastic bag they put in your ice bucket at a hotel isn`t for to-go bacon from the breakfast buffet.
Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.