Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
When you`re out & your cell battery is low: 1) lower screen brightness 2) turn off WiFi 3) crawl under table 4) weep softly til help arrives
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"