Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I’m forty. I have one.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC