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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.