Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?