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Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
Dear Fox news,I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today