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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.