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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.