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I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!