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I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
It’s been “one of those days” for like 3 years now.
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Question everything...Or should you?
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.