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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
My house has really let itself go.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
Calories: the little creatures that go into your closet every night and hem the waistline of all your clothes inch by inch