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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........