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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.